This site provides key pointers and options to in preparing for your wedding - and for your marriage
and life together.
Guidelines . . . On Holy Matrimony ~ Weddings
. . .(Blazing a New Trail for New Traditions!)
.
These guidelines
contain suggestions, thoughts, and options to help you focus on the sanctity and holiness of the ceremony and on beginning
of your lives together in Service to the Lord and to all beings. The nature of preparations, pre-wedding,
wedding, and post-wedding ceremonies has weight and import, as these represent a public declaration of pledges and vows marking
the start of the rest of your lives. Thus, the entire matter of pre-, during-, and post-ceremonies is worthy
of serious reflection, prayer, consultation, and thought.
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Consider keeping
the entire ceremony and all associated with it, relatively simple (and small, if applicable).
~
Maintain
composure. Keep calm, contemplative, and prayerful. To aid in this, keep
all as basic, inexpensive, and dignified as possible – for the ceremony itself and for the reception, which is an honoring
and celebration of the new lives in partnership and mutual love and reverence. Remember that the ceremony
is intended to be worshipful, uplifting, and divine. Consider having donations to the Temple/Church/Tabernacle (House
of Worship) and/or one of the Missions rather than all sorts of gifts which may simply add clutter and excess objects
to your household (this guideline may not fully apply if you are relatively young and just starting out in the life).
~
Provide guidelines for wedding participants concerning modesty in clothing,
as well as in word and behaviour—for all who take part in the wedding (including the bride) and immediate family in
attendance thereof. For example, for females, modest dress or skirt lengths; no low-cut shirts; relatively
full and loose-fitting clothing (avoiding clinging clothing); and so forth. Sensible decorum should be
followed and observed in dress, word, and deed. The point is for each person to cover him- and her-self
with Grace and Dignity, not to “display” ones’ self… Include those elements of the ceremonies that honor God. For the reception, ideally
have either silence, sacred hymns, or other Divine Music (for example, much of Bach). For example, consider
only having only sacred joyous hymns or traditional (non-somber, obviously!) music in place of so-called modern music and
“modern dancing.”
~
No need to "go along with" society's or the perceived
culture's habits. Obviously, do not have alcohol of any sort, including “pretend” bottles that are supposed
to “look like” alcohol. It is an auspicious time. You are starting your lives together:
have a prayer-circle at the reception. In the Church Service,
have worshipful music played and sung. Seriously consider having a sacred hymn rather than the "Bridal
Chorus" if there is a processional for the bride. While the music itself is regal and over-powering when entering,
it is not particularly meaningful. Also, the words that have been put to it are "all about the bride"
rather than about God Almighty and/or about the two of you together. (As an aside, the “here
comes the bride” is not generally played at weddings among the sincerely devout; for example, it is not usually used
at Jewish, Lutheran, or Catholic weddings. It is also opposed by some pastors because of pagan elements
of Wagner's operas.) Some Houses of Worship generally prefer that the Bridal Chorus not be used given
that the chorus is a secular piece of music, and is associated with sentimentality rather than worship. Many
alternatives exist. For example, the Ave' Maria is one of the many beauti-ful options, and many of Bach's compositions.
. . .
~
Seriously consider dispensing with some of the historically “traditional,”
worldly, and culturally-driven "conventional" aspects of weddings, such as “toasts,” bouquet-throwing,
and anything to do with a garter (there are implications of these so-called traditions which, if one reflects on them, are
somewhat silly, empty, and meaningless, and are not at all scriptural or wholesome). Many alternative approaches
to interacting with all your belov-ed family, friends, and extended family who are in attendance. We need
to think and reflect a little more carefully and deeply about common traditions, practices, actions, words, phrases, and habits;
we are called to be in the world but not of the world. We need not just blindly
follow what we see the world doing . . . Simply have a worshipful sacred set of ceremonies as
the auspicious start to the rest of your lives together in the loving service of the Lord our God.
~
Think
on that which is Worthy and True and Holy and Blessed and Divine. Pray only that the Will
of the Lord will be done.
~
A new commandment I give unto
you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, love one another. By this shall all men know that
ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another. John 13:34-35
~ ~ ~
Walk in Love In marriage, we are called to serve Yashua, the Christ, in the other person. We are called to
serve lovingly our spouse. We are in a ministry together, and encouraging each other in our ministries
that we have together and perhaps our individual ministries, which we may also have. In part, we find ways to minister to our brethren and to one another by finding out what ones’
primary love language is (or languages are).
. . .
Dr. Gary Chapman – The Five
Love Languages
- Listening to the person’s feedback
and thoughts, and observing their reactions and habits tells us a lot about the person’s primary "love language,"
meaning what resonates with him or her - what touches the heart and spirit:
Ø Quality
Time – your undivided Attention. The two of you are doing something together, e.g., doing
something together in the garden, what you are doing is not as important; it is that you are doing it together.
Ø
Words – of encouragement and of love… of
affirmation.
Ø Acts of Service – the key
issue is the attitude, it is the Heart. In this, we are doing the Will of God. Ask God
to Give us a Heart to Serve Him. The whole nature of love is giving.
Ø
Gifts – for some people, gifts is their primary love language. The
gift says that I was thinking about you…
Ø Touch
– for some, physical loving touch is one of the primary love languages – a reassuring hand
on the arm, on the shoulder, or a hug.
. . .
It is important to also be attentive and sensitive to that which may not be someone’s love language;
for example, for some persons, certain tangible gifts may not resonate particularly well with them at all.
~
Love one another as Yashua loved us. Our whole countenance
changes… This is singularly the highest calling in our earthly existence. And verily, we can create our own Heaven on Earth.
Lord
prepare me,
to be a Sanctuary
Pure
and holy, tried and true
With Thanks
Giving,
I'll be a living
Sanctuary
for You.
NOTES A
background note that some of the great need for modesty has to do with the fact that some persons go to weddings where the
ceremony and sermon and hymns and so forth were all beauty-filled and worshipful, yet they may primarily remember and have
stuck in their minds what some of the females wore or did not wear… Thus, among the other obvious
and important reasons (purity and holiness), to accommodate the “lowest common denominator” (those who may have
weak minds and may allow their eyes, mind, emotions, etc. to be dragged down), modest dress and behavior is minimally required.
If this basic and necessary element of modesty and fundamental decency is not in place, the displaying of ones’
self may be almost all some persons remember, comment on, dwell on, etc.
.
Some version of the above pages can be given to youth (in case they
decide to share their lives in a meaningful, beyond superficial, way), to prospective marriage partners such as engaged persons,
and eventually (at the right time) to the families/parents/friends/loved-ones/etc. of the husband and wife to be.
This way, all involved know the worshipful approach and mindset of the bride and groom and ideally will not attempt
to drag them in other directions for the preparations and the ceremony in the name of “traditions” that have no
basis in Scriptural Teachings or even in fundimental virtue and substantive meaning. Dearly Beloved, Begin your
lives in joyous, bless-ed, and auspicious ways.
