This site provides key pointers and options to in preparing for your wedding - and for your marriage
and life together.
Guidelines . . . On Holy Matrimony ~ Weddings
. . . (Blazing a New Trail for New Traditions!)
.
These guidelines
contain suggestions, thoughts, and options to help you focus on the sanctity and holiness of the ceremony and on beginning
of your lives together in Service to the Lord and to all beings. The nature of preparations, pre-wedding,
wedding, and post-wedding ceremonies has weight and import, as these represent a public declaration of pledges and vows marking
the start of the rest of your lives. Thus, the entire matter of pre-, during-, and post-ceremonies is worthy
of serious reflection, prayer, consultation, and thought.
~
Definately invest the resources (time, etc.) in marriage preparation sessions
with your local house of worship - something appropriate for the two of you. This will be invaluable
for preparing for your lives as a family.
~
Maintain composure. Keep calm, contemplative,
and prayerful. To aid in this, keep all as basic, inexpensive, and dignified as possible – for the
ceremony itself and for the reception, which is an honoring and celebration of the new lives in partnership and mutual love
and reverence. Remember that the ceremony is intended to be worshipful, uplifting, and divine. Consider having donations to the Temple/Church/Tabernacle (House of Worship) and/or one of the Ministries
rather than all sorts of gifts which may simply add clutter and excess objects to your household (this guideline may not fully
apply if you are relatively young and just starting out in the life).
~
Consider keeping the entire ceremony and all associated with it, relatively simple
(and small, if applicable given the size of your family and extended-family).
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Provide guidelines for wedding participants concerning modesty in clothing, as well as in word
and behaviour—for all who take part in the wedding (including the bride) and immediate family in attendance thereof.
For example, for females, modest dress or skirt lengths; shirts, etc. that do not display ones' self; relatively
full and loose-fitting clothing (avoiding clinging clothing); and so forth. Sensible decorum may be followed
and observed in dress, word, and deed. The point is for each person to cover him- and her-self with Grace
and Dignity, not to “display” ones’ self…
~
Include those elements of the ceremonies that honor God. For the reception, ideally
have either silence, beautiful hymns, or other Sacred Music (for example, much of Bach). For example, consider
only having only sacred joyous hymns or traditional music in place of so-called modern music and “modern dancing.”
~
No need to "go along with" society's or the perceived culture's habits. Obviously, do not
have alcohol of any sort, including “pretend” bottles that are supposed to “look like” alcohol.
It is an auspicious time. You are starting your lives together: have a prayer-circle
at the reception. In the Church Service, have worshipful music played and sung.
Seriously consider having a meaningful sacred hymn rather than the "Bridal Chorus"
if there is a processional for the bride. While the music of Wagner's "Bridal Chorus" may seem regal
and over-powering when entering, it is not particularly meaningful.
Also, the words that have been put to the Bridal Chorus are "all
about the bride" rather than about God Almighty and/or about the two of you together. (As an aside,
the “here comes the bride” is not generally played at weddings among the sincerely devout; for example,
it is not usually used at Jewish, Lutheran, or Catholic weddings. It is also opposed by some ministers
because of worldly (so to speak) elements of Wagner's opera.) Some Houses of Worship generally prefer
that the Bridal Chorus not be used, given that the chorus is a secular piece of music, and is associated with sentimentality
and habit rather than worship or meaningfulness. Many alternatives exist. For example, the Ave' Maria is
one of the many beauti-ful options, many of Bach's compositions, and many hymns of praise. . . .
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Seriously consider dispensing with some of the historically “traditional,”
secular, and culturally-driven "conventional" aspects of weddings, such as “toasts,” bouquet-throwing,
and anything to do with a garter (there are implications of these so-called traditions which, if one reflects on them, are
somewhat silly, empty, and meaningless, and are not at all scriptural or wholesome). Many alternative approaches
to interacting with all your belov-ed family, friends, and extended family who are in attendance.
~
As humans, we may
think and reflect a little more carefully and deeply about common traditions, practices, actions, words, phrases, and habits;
we are called to be in the world but not of the world. We need not just blindly
follow what we see the world doing . . . Simply have a worshipful sacred set of ceremonies as
the auspicious start to the rest of your lives together in the loving service of the Lord our God.
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Think on that which is Worthy and True and Holy and Blessed
and Divine. Pray only that the Will of the Lord will be done in and through you, individually
and collectively.
~
A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, love
one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another. John
13:34-35
~
~ ~
Walk in Love
In marriage, we are called to serve
the Lord in the other person. We are called to serve lovingly our spouse. We are in
a ministry together, and encouraging each other in our ministries that we have together and perhaps our individual ministries,
which we may also have. In part, we find ways
to minister to our brethren and to one another by finding out what ones’ primary love language is (or languages are).
. . .
Dr. Gary Chapman – The Five Love Languages - Listening
to the person’s feedback and thoughts, and observing their reactions and habits tells us a lot about the person’s
primary "love language," meaning what resonates with him or her - what touches the heart and spirit:
Ø Quality Time – your undivided Attention. The two of you are doing something together,
e.g., doing something together in the garden, what you are doing is not as important; it is that you are doing it together.
Ø
Words – of encouragement and of love… of
affirmation.
Ø Acts of Service – the key
issue is the attitude, it is the Heart. In this, we are doing the Will of God. Ask God
to Give us a Heart to Serve Him. The whole nature of love is giving.
Ø
Gifts – for some people, gifts is their primary love language. The
gift says that I was thinking about you…
Ø Touch
– for some, physical loving touch is one of the primary love languages – a reassuring hand
on the arm, on the shoulder, or a hug.
. . .
It is important to also be attentive and sensitive to that which may not be someone’s love language;
for example, for some persons, certain tangible gifts may not resonate particularly well with them at all.
~
Love one another as Yashua loved us. Our whole countenance
changes… This is singularly the highest calling in our earthly existence. And verily, we can create our own Heaven on Earth.
Lord prepare me,
to be a Sanctuary
Pure and holy, tried and true
With
Thanks Giving,
I'll be a living
Sanctuary for You.
NOTES
Some
version of the above pages can be given to youth (in case they decide to share their lives in a meaningful, beyond superficial,
way), to prospective marriage partners such as engaged persons, and eventually (at the right time) to the families/parents/friends/loved-ones/etc.
of the husband and wife to be. This way, all involved know the worshipful approach and mindset of the bride
and groom and ideally will not attempt to drag them in other directions for the preparations and the ceremony in the name
of “traditions” that have no basis in Scriptural Teachings or even in fundimental virtue and substantive meaning.
Dearly Beloved, Begin your lives in joyous, bless-ed, and auspicious ways.
